Bound up

I am sure that some of you are wondering why no entry last week. Has she succumb to the tortures and given in.? Quite the contrary. Is is most surprising each week. Now I think I am getting "sick and demented" because I actually look forward to it.

Last week was lifting my torso and ribs off my pelvis. This is sure to help with the 1 1/2 inches that I have lost in my height. It was grueling but nothing like today. Adductors, hamstrings and quads, the bound up muscles of my thighs and did I mention that my legs felt like they were going through a vise grip. The key there is going through, not just being held in the grip, but having that grip slide, no not slide, rip? no not rip, oh hell, you know what I am trying to say, as she takes the bound up muscle and puts it back where it belongs. Holy shit. One does not just lie there and take the pain. You must participate in it. "Sick". Be a willing, or unwilling participant, however you want to look at it. I can hear her saying "knee up, knee down" and wanting me to do these motions as she frees the muscle, but sometimes it is all one can do to keep breathing, pant and swear. No knee up, knee down. She won't let you get away with it for very long. And did I tell you it feels like she has hands of steel with the grip of Hercules. But it is so awesome.

My knowledge and enthusiasm for Structural Integration grows with each session. While SI is probably not for everyone, it certainly couldn't hurt the majority of us. Oops, sorry about that play on the word "hurt". It really is okay to experience the breath sucking pain that one must endure to get through a session because when you come out of it you are a new person. Each week as she works the misalignment of my body up from my feet and out the top of my head I move with much more ease. I knew I was "tight" but not bound up. My thigh muscles were bound up into one unit. The individual muscles were not working undependantly like they are designed to do. Needless to say when that happens other things stop working, which affects something else until one day your body screams at you "HELP, stop what you are doing". And that is where I am at. Stopping and smelling the roses in between being in the moment and the breath being sucked out of me.

It is becoming much easier for me to stand and walk in alignment. I still struggle sometimes especially when I flip into auto pilot. It's that "teach an old dog new trick" thing. It is getting easier. I have noticed that sitting correctly takes less work. I catch myself slouching and bring myself into alignment a lot quicker. I have slouched for many years now. When working at my computer for long hours I was usually slouched completely down in my chair by the end of the day. Bad habit....

Wouldn't it be great if as we entered into our mid years that we felt physically as good as we did in our earlier years.? We don't have to be all bound up, hunched over and in pain 24/7. There are alternatives and I can clearly see the SI is one of them. It is working and I am feeling much better each week. Until next time.

Happy Feet

My homework from last week was to walk toes forward, heel to toe. You say, so. Don't we all? Not really. As I have focused on that, and it does take concentration not to walk in my comfort zone, I have felt the misalignment of my feet, ankles and knees. To walk with my toes forward actually made my knees feel really awkward. I have become much more aware of how my feet touch the floor. More specifically what parts of my feet are touching the floor and at what point. I have been walking laterally on my feet which would explain why my knees are rotated outward. The body is so amazing. These misalignment's are so gradual. They just sort of creep up on you until one day your body rather than just talking to you begins screaming at you.

I went to the doctors office to have them measure how tall I am at the beginning of these sessions. 5'51/2". WHAT? I used to be 5'7". Where did the other 1.5 inches go.? Oh wait, I know, it is there, just supressed by tight facia and tendons that are restricting movement of my body.

I'm not sure I was prepared for the pain I endured today. Karon told me the first few sessions were realitively easy. Well if this is easy, I'm not sure I want to play anymore. Oh, but I do.!
I can feel it allow my body to move with much more ease. I didn't really feel I was so tight all over. Ya, my shoulders and pelvis region I now are, but never really knew my feet had issues.

It is not an easy task to train your body to move differently than it has for the past 50 years. So those of you who are following this pay attention. Pay attention to how you are walking, sitting and standing. If you are in generally good physical condition, but have pain somewhere chronically maybe you are out of alignment. Seek structural integration sooner rather than later.

I also need to express that I may show signs of personality disorder. I have not become possessed by demons. Although you might look at me in wonder as I begin to speak things that in the past may have been held back because of fear or rejection. Thoughts and emotions will most likely be flowing freely from my mouth. Karon told me to warn my loved ones that I may display a personality that is unfamiliar. So maybe I will, maybe I won't. It will just happen. Just know that I love you all, but I am loving me now.

I have discovered that I have some emotions stored within. It is so weird, amazing, not sure how to describe what happens. Karon completes a stroke and a floodgate of tears and emotions come pouring out of me. Totally unbeknownst to me. It happened in the first session and it happened again today. Its not every stroke. Most of those are just fist clenching hold your breath and scream strokes. It just happens. I have no control what so ever.

I've decided to blog this hoping that I can share my awareness and make those of you who are following more aware. Structural Integration is very powerful. After just two sessions I can see why Karon gets so excited to do this work. It isn't becasue she is sick and demented and likes to cause you pain. She knows the outcome and how it transforms the body. It is amazing. Just watch and see.

ROLFING: Reestablishing the natural alignment and structural integration of the human body for vitality and well being.
Thank you Ida P. Rolf, Ph.D.

Spring is in the air today. The crab apple trees are in full bloom with bright pink blossoms. A slight breeze has the branches dancing. I find myself reflecting on the past 3.5 years. Diligently and as naturally as possible I have tried to resolve my low back pain. From kidney and liver cleanses to releasing emotional issues.

Today there was a fork in the road. I am taking a new path to realignment and balance of my body and my life. Karon, a friend and rolfer, began the 1st of 10 sessions today. This, I can tell, will lead me back to a pain free body that moves with ease and freedom.

The realization hit me when we looked at pictures of me standing in a normal relaxed position. We knew that I had some slight rotation at the hips, but it blew both of us away to see how uneven I am from the shoulders all the way down. I think we both new at the sight of the misaligned body what needed to be done.

These sessions are not relaxing in any way. Quite the contrary. Four letter expletives flow from my mouth with great intensity. I must admit, however, that after the stroke is finished there is significant release of tension and relaxation. So, relaxing? yes and no.

Awareness has new meaning. Becoming aware of how I sit, stand and walk is not going to be easy. It is really easy to fall back into the old habits of walking and sitting. It takes more work to walk the right way. You have to think about how you get yourself out of a chair. This will be a challenge I can tell. I am up to it. The outcome will be well worth the effort. I pledge to be more aware of my movements and my thoughts.

I usually have to lay back on the bed and raise my feet into the air to put my socks on. Today after the session while talking to Karon, I sat on the table and was able to put my socks on while sitting without pain. Holy heck. Why didn't I start this long time ago. Amazing.. I feel much lighter. It is hard to describe the difference you feel, but there is definitely a difference.

Walk with your chin level, feet pointed forward with a slight spring in your step. Heel to toe. Sounds simple doesn't it.? It feels totally awkward to me.

SURPRISE !

Birthdays to me have always been, just another day. Little did I know turning 50 was going to have and be so much more than just another day. Apparently Amanda started working on this project a long time before the big date. And with the help of Ellis and a few others they pulled it off.

The special event took place on March 13th. Earlier in the week Kris had asked us to go to dinner with them at the Country Club on Saturday evening. She gave me the excuse that my birthday was on a Thursday and the weekend is easier. So on Saturday morning before EL left for work he pulled out dress clothes for dinner that evening. That should have been my first clue, but that piece of the puzzle would not reveal itself until later. So with Easter just around the corner I was busy making Easter gifts most of the day. This was a good thing since Amanda was running around town finalizing last minute stuff. She would have a difficult time explaining to me what she was doing in town when she had told me she was hanging with girlfriends for the day.

The weather took a turn for the worse and it started snowing by afternoon. On the way out to the club Ellis tells me that Vicki and Jim are out here having dinner with a bunch of friends. I guess he was thinking I might wonder why there are so many vehicles in the parking lot. Still I had no clue. Yep clueless. Until....I saw the Honda Element out of the corner of my eye parked over by the Pro Shop. It still didn't register until I saw the Mazda and Jeep. My mind went quickly into overdrive. The kids have all gathered for dinner. I love having all the kids together, not necessarily in my honor, but I was feeling okay with it. What I saw when I walked into the room was WOW!-friends and family. Not just the kids, but parents, siblings, aunts, cousins, long time friends and new found friends, grandkids and kids, almost all of them. I was totally surprised. I had no idea until I saw the kids cars then I still had no idea until I walked into the room and everyone yelled surprise.! I looked at all the faces looking back at me, processing who they were and how far some had traveled to be there for me. It was a wonderful feeling of warmth and gratitude. I never thought a 50th birthday could be so much fun. Amanda presented me with a scrapbook that everyone had contributed thoughts and memories of their times with me and/or about me. Many special words that brought back memories. It was a wonderful gift. I didn't want the evening to end. Thanks to everyone for a most memorable evening.

Last weekend Amanda and I ventured to a wellness festival in Jackson Hole Wyoming. Some of you may ask "a wellness festival?" What the heck is that and are you sick.? The theme of the festival was Pursue Your Purpose. Wow, have I been thinking heavily about that lately. There is something else out there that I am supposed to do. I am just not sure what it is. I think I am waiting for it to fall out of the sky and hit me on the head.
I have always been attracted to self help books. I actually remember going to a day of motivational speakers when I was 9 months pregnant with Amanda. I went with my grandma. It was a long day because I am pretty sure I was the size of a beached whale. But memorable and motivating.
This festival was similar. Only two days long, not just one. There were at least 3 speakers at one time so you chose which one interested you the most. Amanda and I were side by side attending the same ones. We listened to speakers on decoding your life's purpose with your finger prints, Access the Intuitive Wisdom of Your Body and many more. Gary Zukav, author of The Seat of the Soul and Linda Francis were keynote speakers on Sunday afternoon. I received a lot of insight into myself at this one. Things like I have a difficult time articulating my feelings. That we all have frightened parts of our personality that like to emerge, but we may not recognize them and what those frightened parts do to us and our ability to communicate. We came home with a lot of reading material. I am excited to get to them all. We made a pact that we would read the books together so we have someone to share our thoughts with about the material in the books.
My mom was supposed to go with us on this adventure but something personal kept her from attending. Amanda and I had a good time just hanging together, eating some good food, sleeping on incredibly HARD beds, and learning some new things about ourselves. We encountered snow and it was cold so we didn't do a lot of sight seeing or roaming the shops in Jackson. I hope to make this an annual event.

The fragrance of the pines filled the air. The sound of water dancing across the rocks in the creek bed set my mind at ease. It was a glorious day. One filled with challenges, laughter and memories.

We arrived at Snowbird and the TRAM loading gate with 10 minutes to spare. Amanda, Aiden and myself were on a journey to the top of the peak via the TRAM and back down to the bottom via our own two feet

I remember doing this with Blake and Cameron. Cam was eight and he struggled on the way down. Don't ask me why I thought a two year old could make it with ease. It didn't matter to me. It was something I wanted to do and however it turned out was fine with me. .

The peak has the steepest decent at the top. Thinking that giving Aiden some dried fruit for energy would hurry him along in fact slowed him down.

He would take 10 or so steps, sit down right in the middle of the road, fish out one piece of fruit to eat, get back up and go a few more steps and do it all over again. At this point in time Amanda is looking at her watch wondering if we would make it down by nightfall. Thinking ahead like I am the little planner, I brought a blanket that I thought we could make a hammock type carrying devise to assist Aiden in his journey. It didn't work cuz he wouldn't stay in it. Which is why we didn't have any other type of devise to assist. He does not like them and would prefer to walk. Except now. So we were forced to take turns carrying him. Or sleep on the mountain.

We stopped along a dry creek bed to sit on a bridge and have lunch with some squirrels. Lunch left a lot to be desired. Smashed and soggy sandwiches. Oh well...It was all part of the adventure. We ventured a bit further when this big dark cloud started appearing over the peak. This would have been just fine if it wasn't accompanied by thunder. Need I remind you we are closer to the top than the bottom. To look up at the road we had just traveled made me more tired than just beating it to the bottom. And that is what we did. Scurried like we had to be somewhere soon. I was not real thrilled with the idea of lightening that may soon show up with the thunder. Midway down the thunder subsided and we slowed our pace. It could have been because we were exhausted and couldn't keep up that pace any longer regardless of the looming thunder?

I was singing songs to Aiden and Amanda as we smelled the fresh air and took in the sight of the mountains and their glory. I love the high country. It was a challenge making it back down with him on our shoulders, but we laughed and shared together something wonderful and memorable. The memories of this day are worth the pain I have been suffering for the past three days. My hamstrings and quads are screaming at me but I would do it all again.

Cucumbers=Pickles

I love this time of year when the mornings and the evenings have a slight chill. It does seem it is a little earlier in the season than normal. It may well be just a tease for what is a head of us. With that chill in the air comes the smell of spices and vinegar from my canning efforts in the kitchen. Our garden has been very giving this year. Peppers, all kinds, and cucumbers a plenty. I have been busy making dill pickles, sweet pickle relish, corn & zucchini salsa and a new found taste for me, bread and butter pickles. I have never experienced bread and butter pickles, but I do like them.
Sunday I was picking zucchini and noticed that the plants were infiltrated with A LOT of squash bugs. TONS. We have had success with sprinkling epsom salts around the plants and keeping them under control, but we had obviously slacked in that department. Tons, did I say there were a lot.? TONS...Well..EL was not going to have that so he....decided to take care of them.....with the shop vac....yes, I said the shop vac.


He was going to suck the little pests right up. And he did....Tons of them. Now let me tell you that the neighbors already think we are strange because we have been seen mopping and sweeping our garden and now we vacuum? But WAIT I can explain our madness. We have 10 mil plastic covering the ground to keep the weeds under control. Inevitably this gets dirty or needs repair so you must clean before patching.. Well you do. So there you have it, the anal retentive neighbors that sweep, mop and vacuum their garden. But boy does it produce and the tomatoes haven't really began to ripen. I will be busy into September I am sure.